Relationship / Couples

In every relationship we bring a personal “love code” that functions as our “operating system” through which we experience and share love. This love code influences all aspects of our participation in the relationship, including our communication style, how we perceive and give affection, and our emotional safety needs. Similar to theories about our “attachment style”, our personal love code has been influenced by the experience of how we have been loved, or witnessed love, in the past. An understanding of our love code will help us in all our familial or intimate love relationships.

Given that our past experience of love plays such a significant role in how we experience our relationships in the present, I begin relationship / couples counselling by asking each person to come in by themselves. In this beginning phase of individual relationship counselling, I invite each partner to explore their individual feelings and truths, their perceived “love code”, and above all, their own individual responsibility for the current state of the relationship. Participating in these initial individual sessions is in itself an act of love and commitment. It also helps bring the presence of equality, a very important factor, into our further collaborations about the relationship.

Once each partner has taken equal part in doing their own individual sessions, we are then ready to start the second phase, which brings both people together to explore what they need to do to grow together, communicate harmoniously or re-open their heart and minds to each other. I often call this phase the “work of love”.

I do not believe that people or relationships should or ever need to be “perfect”. But what is often needed is an agreed upon way to communicate and vision of what love looks, thinks and feels like in the context of your mutual well-being.

Please contact me by email or phone to inquire about relationship counselling.